Agnes Ong (Malaysia) 2019
 

I was born with a neurological condition that affects my nerves and speech. I cannot control the twitching of my face and neck and sometimes my speech is unclear. People who meet me for the first time tend to judge me solely based on my appearance. Some people were turned off by how I look, but there are others who were kind to me. In this testimony, I will share how the law of attraction has helped me overcome the challenges in my life. Despite my physical imperfections, my brain is thankfully intact. I am very grateful for my parents, school teachers and friends who were very supportive and encouraging. They helped build my confidence and showed me what I could achieve like anyone else. Growing up in such a positive environment, I excelled as a top student academically. But reality caught up with me during my uni days. People stared more and I noticed changes in their body language. One of the most ‘memorable’ comment I got was from a lecturer in front of the whole class. “Can’t you speak clearly? You need speech therapy.” Years later, I realised she was just speaking the truth. But at that moment, I was hurt, humiliated and angry. From that day onwards, I vowed to prove her wrong. I worked hard to earn a First Class Honours in my Bachelors Degree. I got a job and did the best I could, facing strangers with confidence. I went about with this attitude of wanting to show everyone I can do whatever you can do and better!

For years, this constant need to boost my ego had proven to work for me. I did well in my jobs, got married and have a son. I had done everything a normal person could do and more. Eventually, I pursued my dream as a fiction writer while working as a freelance content specialist. I made my début as an author for young adult fiction in 2014 with Skyping Back in Time. My second book Mama’s Maze was published by MPH in 2017. Both books won regional literary awards and Mama’s Maze was even long listed for an international literary award. I showed everyone what I was capable of achieving despite my physical handicaps. I was flying high. Newton’s third law of motion states, “What goes up must come down.” Oh yes, I fell down! Literally and hard. On the morning of 30 June 2017, I took a fall in the bathroom and fractured my spine. I had no choice but to consent to an emergency spinal surgery to insert 6 titanium screws to stabilise my spine for recovery. I was never the same again. After the surgery, I was in constant pain for months. I went to 7 specialists to find an answer. MRI scan revealed that I had cervical nerve compression and spinal cord compression. The doctors all agreed that spinal surgery was the only solution for my pain. However, there is always a catch. Due to my pre-existing nerve condition that doesn’t allow me to keep my neck still, I face a very high risk of cervical spine complications and even paralysis from surgery. My prognosis was grim.

Surgery was too risky. I was in a lot of pain. Doctors prescribed pain killers. At one point, I was on 3 different types of pain medication and still I couldn’t sleep well. I became depressed to the stage of having suicidal thoughts. For more than 2 years, I tried all other options - physical therapy, alternative medicine, traditional Chinese medicine, counselling, hypnotherapy and finally antidepressants. My pain was not the worst thing that happened to me. I stopped writing all together. I told myself it was writer’s block but deep down I knew it was more than that. I had been on antidepressants for almost one and a half years. It gave me relief for my pain but I knew it was not a long term solution. I was still depressed and I had not done any creative writing since my accident but I was still working as a freelance content specialist. One day in 2019, Karen asked me to edit her brochure, and that was the turning point for me. She opened up my horizon to a whole new way of achieving abundance in life. Before I learned about the law of attraction, I had indeed achieved many things in my life but I had to work very hard to get what I wanted. I did that out of sheer will and defiance to prove my naysayers wrong. I could do it because my body still allowed me to have the mobility to get things done. But all that changed after the accident. My body was broken. The pain broke me and I lost all confidence to do the stuff I used to be able to do. I only saw what I couldn’t have but not what I already have. I was stuck.

On hind sight, meeting Karen after all these years, we were colleagues when I first started working after graduation in 1997, was what the Universe gave me. I attracted her to me cos I desperately needed help. So, I was already subconsciously creating the outcome I needed without knowing it. My sessions with Karen were mind-blowing to say the least. She helped me to see a different perspective in life, how a simple switch of mindset can help me find comfort and joy. I am still working on it but since I started practising what she taught me about mindfulness, being grateful, and setting intentions, I have begun to see changes in my life. I have since weaned myself off antidepressants in March 2020. I find myself able to focus on the positives in my life more than the negatives. Most importantly, I started writing again. Be mindful. Be grateful. Believe. If it works for me, it can work for you too.